The Devil Hunt
by Julian Webb
Summary: Dante makes his way into the city of Yharnam, a city ruled by blood, madness, and fear, after a strange man arrives in his office begging him to cure Yharnam of the Beastly Scourge. Afterwards, he teams up with the Hunters, Nero, Vergil, Lady, Trish, and a mysterious group of paranormal hunters to uncover a plot between the eldritch Great Ones and Mundus, the emperor of Hell.
1. Chapter 1

The Devil Hunt

A Bloodborne/Devil May Cry Fanfiction

By Julian Webb

Chapter One

In the Devil May Cry office…

Dante sat at his desk, idly twirling his pistols, Ebony and Ivory, in his hands. It had been weeks since anyone had came in for business (well, except for the pizza delivery guy who came with Dante's order), and he and Trish were starting to get bored of sitting around doing nothing but killing time and eating pizza.

Suddenly, a knock on the door startled Dante out of his reverie. He put his pistols back into their holsters, then yelled, "Come in!"

A ragged man with an unkempt beard, bandages covering his eyes, and ratty, torn clothes that were once fine, but now looked more fit for the trash, walked in, in obvious pain, judging by his limping gait.

Dante raised an eyebrow. "You don't look like the pizza delivery guy," he commented. "Who are you?"

"I- I heard that you… were a monster hunter… and that you… could help me with… my… problem," the man slowly said, painful, ragged breaths interrupting him.

Dante raised his eyebrow again. "Um, yea, if your problem involves demons," he said. "How can I help?"

"H-h-have you heard.. of Yharnam?" the ragged man said.

"Can't say I have. That where you're from?"

"Yes… please, mister, you have to help us… the city's filled with people… that have some sort of illness… turns 'em into monsters that crave blood… please, help… ugh… uragh… GRAHHHHHH!"

The man fell to the ground, convulsing and writhing like a snake. Dante swiftly arose, his hand reaching for Rebellion as the man's skin stretched and tore, thick, bristly hair sprouting from his skin as his clothing tore apart and fangs and claws sprouting from his mouth and fingers. After a few minutes, the man stopped writhing around, and lay on the floor, breathing heavily.

"Um, you okay, dude?" Dante cautiously asked.

The man did not reply. Instead, he struggled to his feet and turned to Dante…

And growled.

"Uhhhh, that's nice," Dante said, slowly drawing Rebellion from its scabbard. "So, you were saying about-"

The monster roared and lunged at Dante, claws extended and mouth wide open, hungry for blood…

Dante quickly backstepped out of the way as the werewolf-looking thing's claws swiped the air in front of Dante's face. The thing dodged Rebellion as Dante swung, then swiped up with its claws, only to be blocked by Rebellion. Dante pulled out Ivory, then said, "Sorry, buddy, it's nothing personal," and shot the thing that had been a man a few minutes ago point-blank in the head.

The monster flew back, propelled by the force of the gunshot, then slammed into the wall and fell to the floor, dead as a doughnut. Dante put both of his weapons away, then walked over to the corpse, stooping down to examine it. A werewolf-looking creature, nothing more special that what Dante normally dealt with. He noticed a slip of paper hanging from the remnants of the overcoat, caked with dried blood and filth. Grabbing it, he unfolded it, then read, "Mr. Dante, the city of Yharnam sends a plea to you to exterminate the beastly scourge, and save our souls in doing so. Sincerely, Iosefka."

"What's going on, Dante?" a woman's voice called from upstairs. "I heard snarling and fighting, then a gunshot. Is everything okay down there?"

Dante turned and faced the stairway upstairs, calling out, "Yea, I've got everything under control, Trish. Some guy came in asking me to help some city called Yharnam, then turned into a monster and attacked me."

"Oh," Trish said. Then, "I've never heard of Yharnam."

"Neither have I. I'm gonna see where it is, then I'll go check it out. In the meantime, I need you to keep up the business for me while I'm gone."

"Sooooo…"

"So this means," Dante said with a grin, "that I'm gonna take a little business trip for a while."

* * *

 **Okay, this is my first fanfiction I've written. I'm glad to finally get it down into this site, after having to wait half a day (literally) to be able to post any tales of my invention. I hope you enjoy this tale of two monster hunters who have crossed paths!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

In the city of Yharnam…

The Hunter with short black hair, clad in his Bone Ash armor, wearily walked through the blood-stained streets of Yharnam, his folded Beasthunter's Saif (for those of you who didn't get the Old Hunter's DLC, it's basically just a saw cleaver with a blade that looks like a cross between the Burial Blade's blade and a scimitar blade, no serrations) dangling from his right hand and his Evelyn pistol hanging in his left. He had spent all day hunting the beasts that roamed the streets, hacking them apart and filling them with quicksilver bullets as he performed his job-releasing the beasts from their torment brought onto them by the mysterious illness called the Beastly Scourge, brought on by the excessive usage of the blood of the Great Ones, the blood that the Healing Church had introduced to the citizens of Yharnam as a means of controlling them. Although he, too, was a heavy user of blood, he only used it to heal himself, rather than using it as a drug as the Yharnamites had done, which had ultimately resulted in their transforming into beasts, forcing the man to hunt and kill them as he had done with the monsters of his native, less-developed homeland.

His homeland… for a fleeting instant, the man remembered a kingdom of knights and dragons, of magic and fearsome monsters, but the memory fled just as quickly. The Hunter sighed in irritation. His memory of his past had been gone ever since he had woken up in the abandoned, blood-stained hospital called Iosefka's Clinic, and had began the long, atrocious Hunt that he was currently on. He had flashes now and then, but they were swiftly forgotten in the heat of the Hunt. Still, they were occurring more and more often, which was a good sign. Maybe someday, when Gehrman released him from the Hunt, he would remember who and what he was, and where he was from…

Suddenly, the sound of a metal object scraping on the ground, accompanied by heavy breathing and footsteps, alerted the Hunter to a nearby beast. The Hunter sighed, then unfolded his Beasthunter's Saif with a flick of his arm and followed the sound, bracing himself to kill once more.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Meanwhile, where Dante is…

Dante stood at the gates to Yharnam, studying the strangely quiet street that laid before him. He had spent a couple of days asking around about the whereabouts of Yharnam, then a couple more days getting there. He had heard a lot of rumors about the place, like that it was home to the Great Ones-mysterious, godlike beings with incredible power and blood with healing properties that had revealed themselves to Yharnam-but none of them really concerned him, as he was, after all, the son of the demon knight Sparda, and was therefore invincible in all aspects.

Dante took a deep breath, then walked into the city, confident that what lay ahead of him would be easy as cake.

* * *

A couple of hours later…

Dante walked through the street in front of a place called Iosefka's Clinic, unnerved by the quite and the stillness of Yharnam. He had expected to see at least a few people, but had not encountered anything thus far-no monsters, no people, no animals, not even any insects. He had, however, found several corpses in various stages of decay laying about in the streets-horses, mostly, but also a couple of corpses that looked like the monster that Dante had encountered in his shop nailed up on cross-like structures that were stuck into the ground, some of them in flames. He was on guard, however, and ready to attack any threat that appeared. He had learned a long time ago that it was only an idiot that let his guard down in an unfamiliar area.

Suddenly, he heard the sound of heavy breathing, followed by footsteps and a metal object dragging the ground. The flickering light of a torch appeared behind a vacant carriage, and a black-clad man holding an ax that dragged on the ground and a torch that was held in the air, dressed in a broad-brimmed black hat, a long black coat, and average worker's clothing and with bandages covering his eyes and a scraggly, unkempt beard adorning his face appeared, apparently patrolling the street for any dangers.

"Finally, someone appears," Dante muttered, then quickened his pace, yelling, "Hey, you with the ax and the torch!"

The man suddenly whirled around, facing Dante and sniffing the air like a dog, which Dante found odd.

"A foreigner..." the man growled. "A stinking f-foreigner..."

"Yea, I'm not from around here. Could you tell me-"

"It's all your fault… the beasts… all of it's your fault!" the man screamed, rushing at Dante. "You stinking foreigner, it's all your fault! I'll kill you!"

With that, the man clumsily swung his ax at Dante, who easily dodged the attack. Then, he whipped out Rebellion and parried another blow from the crazed man, slicing his throat wide open. The man looked down at his throat, which was spurting blood like a fountain, then at Dante. With a gurgle, he fell to his knees, then on his face, his ax and torch clattering to the ground as his fingers relaxed and released them.

Dante stared at the corpse for a moment, then shook his head, wiped off Rebellion, sheathed it, and continued his walk through the street, wondering what the heck that was about.

* * *

The Hunter stopped, puzzled. He had heard the clash of metal on metal from the direction of Iosefka's Clinic, which confused him, as he was the only sane Hunter in Yharnam. The only plausible explanation that he could think of was that Eileen had found another blood-drunk Hunter and had quickly killed him, but it took longer than than the time period that the Hunter estimated for Eileen to kill someone.

Wondering what the noise was about, he hurried to Iosefka's Clinic, questions racing through his mind.

* * *

Dante walked up to the gate, pulling out Ebony and Ivory and readying them for any other threats that appeared. He banged on the Gothic iron gate and yelled, "Hey! Anyone there?"

No response.

"Damn it," he muttered, walking back the way he came. "What now?"

Suddenly, he noticed a ladder attached to a wall, a ladder that most likely led to a path that would lead Dante to behind the gate.

 _"That's_ more like it," Dante said in satisfaction, walking over to the ladder and spinning his handguns around.

Suddenly, a flash of movement in the corner of Dante's eye caught his attention. He turned and saw a pair of men rising to their feet, cleavers in their hands and bandages covering their eyes. Dante sighed, saying, "I'm guessing that you two want to kill me, right?"

"GRAAAAAUGH!" one of the men yelled as the two charged at Dante, cleavers raised and ready to strike. Dante sighed again, then aimed Ebony and Ivory at the men.

One shot. The first man stumbled, a bullet lodging itself into his brain. Another shot, and the man fell to the ground, a second bullet driving the other in further. Another few rounds, and the other man dropped, filled with lead.

"Now that, kids," Dante said, blowing off his pistols and re-holstering them, "is how you kill two men with _style_."

He walked over to the ladder, then tested its stability and found it stable enough to support his weight. Satisfied, he scaled the ladder, then stopped at the top, trying to decide to go left or right. After a moment's deliberation, he decided to go right…

Then tripped over the lamp that was hanging on a lamp rack in the middle of the area.

"FUCK!" Dante swore as he fell down to the ground and onto his face. He got up, dusted himself off, then glared at the lamp. He kicked it, then, muttering, "Little fucker..." continued on his way.

Dante walked over to a barricade of stacked-up coffins and boxes, ready for anything…

Until the man behind them burst through them, nearly giving Dante a heart attack.

"DIE, BEAST!" the man yelled, swinging his cleaver down in an arch at Dante, who was too shocked to react…

Then a shot rang out, and the man stumbled, his cleaver stopped dead mid-swing. Dante took advantage of this and pulled out Rebellion, slicing the crazed man in half from head to crotch. The man's two halves fell to the ground with a wet _splat_ , revealing the man who had stopped the crazy from cutting him-a strangely dressed man, with a smoking flintlock in his left hand and a strange weapon that looked like a scythe/scimitar/ax in his right.

"Thanks, man," Dante said, wiping off Rebellion and sheathing it. "I would've been fine, since I have a quick-heal factor, but… thanks anyway."

"You're welcome," the man replied, lowering his gun. "Who are you, exactly?"

"Name's Dante," Dante said, walking over to shake hand with the man. The strangely dressed man put away his gun, then took Dante's hand and rigorously shook it.

"Are you a Hunter, too?" the man asked after they shook hands, pulling his gun back out and taking a step back. "I could use some help in cleaning up Yharnam."

"Me? Nah, I came here after some guy came into my office and asked me to come here. He turned into some kind of monster, like a scrawny werewolf or something."

Suddenly, the man's eyes grew wide behind his silver skull mask. "Did you kill him?" he quickly asked.

"Um, he attacked me, so yea, I killed him."

"How many other people were there?" was the next question.

"No one, just me. I burned the body, too."

"Okay, good," the man said, obviously relived. "I don't want the sickness spreading beyond Yharnam. It's bad enough here, but if it got outside… that would be more than a catastrophe, that would be the end of us all."

"The sickness? Is that the reason everyone I've met wants to kill me?"

"Yes, it is. It's called the Beastly Scourge, and it was brought on by the over-usage of the Great Ones' blood. You do know who the Great Ones are, right?"

"If you mean the giant, god-like beings I've heard about that have healing blood, then yea, I know what you're talking about," Dante said. "Now can we cut the chitchat and get going?"

"Oh-uh, yea, sure," the man said. "By the way, I'm Cain. I'm a Hunter, responsible for the killing of those affected with the disease."

"Cool. Let's get going, Cain."

"Sure thing."

* * *

A few minutes later…

Cain and Dante stood in the middle of the street, the corpses of the beasts they had killed strewn around them. They looked at each other, then grinned, Cain's grin hidden behind his mask but there nonetheless.

"Holy crap, Dante, what was that?" Cain asked. "You fought like a demon!"

"Considering I'm half demon, that expression was pretty accurate," Dante drily said, sheathing Rebellion. "You fought well yourself. I've never seen any other man fight quite like that."

"Thanks," Cain replied, folding his Beasthunter's Saif with a flick of his arm. "When you've had to fight as many beasts as I have, you learn to have ridiculous reflexes, speed, agility, and strength."

"Well, then, let's get going," Dante said, already setting out down the street. Cain followed, quickening his pace to catch up with Dante.

"Say, shouldn't we open that gate back there?" Dante suddenly asked, turning around to stare at the iron gate.

"Oh, right, I meant to do that," Cain said. The two reversed their course, walking instead to the gate.

As they neared the gate, Dante stopped. "Did you hear that?" he asked, drawing Rebellion yet again.

"If you mean the large, heavy footsteps and the clanking armor, then yes, I heard that," Cain replied, lowering his voice instinctively. "I've already performed the Hunt once before, but I can't remember everything."

"Wait, _what?"_ Dante said incredulously. "I thought you were-"

"A newbie?" Cain said, a wry smile twisting his lips behind his mask. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm a veteran. When you complete the Hunt, it all starts over again. I've only gone through it once, but I know it'll happen again. Gets harder each time, I think."

Dante sighed, slapping his forehead with his hand. "Whatever," he sighed, "Let's go figure out what that was."

The two crept along.

When they neared the gate, Cain took in a sharp intake of breath. "Look there!" he hissed, pointing down a nearby alley. Dante turned his head to face the direction Cain was pointing in…

And saw a massive, lumbering, potbellied giant, encased in silver armor and a green cloak, who held a massive ax similar to a Medieval executioner's ax, patrolling the alleyway, pacing back and forth, back and forth…

"Hot damn," Dante said, propping Rebellion on his shoulder and standing up straight. "Looks like we've got a big one on our hands here."

"Oh, crap! Dante, we need to turn around _now_!" Cain frantically whispered, hooking Dante's arm in his own and tugging on it. "That thing is _huge_! If we fight it, we'll surely die, and I don't wanna have to come back for my Blood Echoes!"

"Okay, first off, get your arm out from around mine, it feels gay AF. Second, I never said anything about you having to help me fight this thing. And third, what the hell are Blood Echoes?"

Releasing Dante's arm, Cain said, "Dante, I know you said you have a quick-heal factor, but what if it fails? If you die, you'll _stay_ dead! You're not connected to the Hunter's Dream-"

"Look, my quick-heal factor's not gonna fail me, so shut up. Plus, I've got a trick up my sleeve. Lemme show you how this is done, Cain," Dante said. Then he walked down the alleyway, ignoring Cain's desperate pleas for Dante to come back.

When Dante reached the alleyway's entry, he stopped and yelled, "Hey, fatass!"

The giant whirled around with surprising speed, focusing its attention on Dante.

"Yea, you! C'mere and get a piece of me! Or are you too scared, huh?" Dante yelled.

With an angry snort, the giant advanced on Dante, going no faster than it had been going. When it reached Dante, it swung its ax down at Dante's head. It crashed down with a mighty boom, dust flying up from the force of the impact. As the dust settled, Cain expected to see Dante's body cut in half and lying on the ground…

But instead saw that Dante had grabbed the blade of the ax, and was standing straight and tall as the giant strained to pull its ax back.

"Heh. I thought you'd at _least_ be able to bang me up a little bit, but I was obviously wrong," Dante said with a cocky grin "Okay, it's _my_ turn now, tubby."

With that, Dante lifted the ax, along with the giant, and threw them both into the wall of the small courtyard at the end of the alleyway. The giant smashed into the wall with a resounding _crash_ , then fell onto the ground, struggling to its feet as dust billowed and chunks of building fell down around its feet. It roared a challenge at Dante, then leaped at him, ax swinging downward in a catastrophic swing…

Only to slow and freeze in mid-air as Dante activated his Devil Trigger.

Dante swiftly became encased in evil-looking black armor, taking on the demon appearance of his half-demon self. He pointed Rebellion at the giant, then proceeded to jump into the air…

And began flitting around everywhere as he sliced the giant apart, crimson spray filling the air as Dante hacked the giant apart with his sword. After a minute of this, Dante landed and sheathed his sword. As time proceeded to unfreeze, Dante turned back to normal, and the giant exploded in a bloody blast in midair, crimson blood, gore, and assorted guts mingling with silver armor as the giant's remains splattered the street, alleyway, and courtyard.

Cain stared at Dante for a couple of minutes, in clear awe and admiration. "What… what was _that_?!" he exclaimed. "Time just froze, and then you turned into some sort of demon knight thing, and then-"

" _That,_ my friend, was my Devil Trigger." Dante smoothly said. "All demons and half-demons have the ability to go into Devil Trigger. Since my old man was the demon Sparda, my Devil Trigger is more powerful than a normal demon or half demon's."

"God Almighty… I've never seen anything like that..." Cain reverently breathed.

"I know, right?" Dante said with a grin. "Now, let's open up this gate and get back on our merry way."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The beast who was once the Hunter called "Father Gascoigne" stalked the courtyard of Oedon's Tomb, his large ax dragging on the ground as the demon inside him demanded blood, more blood, sweet, sweet blood… he wanted to go and hunt for more monsters whose blood he could drink, but another voice whispered that he mustn't, that a Hunter was coming and that he would miss him if he left.

A Hunter… Father Gascoigne licked his lips, a grin spreading across his face as he contemplated the sweet, sweet blood of a Hunter, blood that he had not gotten to taste in ages. He thirsted for it as a drunkard thirsts for liquor, but had only gotten to drink it once, after he had killed the yellow-clad Hunter that didn't seem very willing to fight him.

A Hunter… Gascoigne suddenly felt a wash of discomfort. Half-remembered wisps of memories flitted through his head, of him and that Hunter fighting monsters side by side. He shook his head clear of the uncomfortable memories, growling savagely. No, he couldn't have been friends with the Hunter-he was a beast, a sworn enemy of Hunters. No, a friendship could not have been possible.

Now, what to do while he waited for the Hunter to arrive…

* * *

Dante and Cain walked to the two-story house cautiously, their nerves still shaky from an encounter with another pair of beasts, bigger ones that more closely resembled werewolves, that they had encountered on a great stone bridge. They had fought through a horde of beasts to get there, and were now proceeding back to where they thought the beginning of Central Yharnam was.

"Be on guard, man," Dante muttered to Cain, who nodded in reply. They cautiously proceeded into the house, weapons ready…

And were greeted by a sword-wielding maniac, who swung a saber down at them with full force with a "Die!"

Cain handled this one, sidestepping the attack and swinging down his folded Beasthunter's Saif at the man's torso. The razor-sharp edge caught on the man's flesh and ribcage, then Cain ripped it free with a grunt of effort. Blood sprayed from the wound like a fountain as the beast stumbled to the ground.

"Gross," Dante said, flicking a speck of blood off of his coat.

"Oh, shut up," Cain replied, stepping further into the house. "It's not like the way you killed that giant was any less gruesome, bloody, or brutal."

"Good point," Dante conceded as he shot the other sword-wielding maniac hiding behind a pile of crates in the head. "Come on, let's go check out downstairs."

"Just a warning, there's two more baddies down there," Cain stated as they descended the stairs to the downstairs section of the house. He unfolded his Beasthunter's Saif, then sidestepped another attack from a third saber-wielding maniac and sliced him into two halves. Dante walked over to a man in a wheelchair, then shot him in the head. "That's that," he said, blowing out Ebony and re-holstering the handgun. He followed Cain out the front door, then swiftly turned as the sound of heavy footsteps reached his ears. "You know what that is, by any chance?" Dante asked Cain, who was engaged in a fight with a beast similar to the first one Dante had encountered in Yharnam.

"Actually, yes, I do," Cain replied as he shot the beast's head off with his beautiful, ornate flintlock. "It's a pair of those ogres, like what we encountered earlier after we got through the first part of Central Yharnam."

"Ah," Dante said. "Should we go fight them?"

"No, we should go fight the Cleric Beast first," Cain said. "He's through that one arch that was at the end of that bridge we just got off of. I just wanted to open this gate before we went, so that we could quickly return to the area where we have to fight him in case we-erm, I-die."

"Ah. Alright, well let's hurry, I wanna see-"

An earsplitting screech split Dante's eardrums, which was swiftly followed up by a series of loud _kradoom_ s. Dante and Cain looked at each other, then stared at the area where the sounds had came from. "The heck-" Cain began. Dante silenced him with a look, then began to run back to the bridge, his red trench coat fluttering out behind him.

"Come on, slowpoke, let's move!" Dante yelled over his shoulder at Cain. "Someone beat us to the Cleric Beast, and I want to fight the bugger at least a little bit!"

"But-but I-"

Dante vanished into the house.

"Dammit," Cain muttered, then he raced off after Dante, exchanging his Beasthunter's Saif for his Burial Blade as he did so.

* * *

 **Oooh, a mystery! Who could it have been that's beaten Dante and Cain to the Cleric Beast? Read on, and discover...**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Vergil ducked under the massive beast's overly muscular arm, swinging Yamato in a graceful, powerful uppercut as the shaggy-haired, filthy white arm shot overhead. The blow connected squarely, and Vergil smirked in satisfaction as the antlered abomination called the Cleric Beast shrieked in pain and anger, its surprisingly red blood spraying from the deep, long wound. It glared at Vergil, them made to swing again, drawing a bead on him with its still-bleeding, mutant right arm. Vergil tensed, ready to parry the blow with Yamato...

But the creature instead slammed its fist into the ground, propelling itself sky-high. Vergil stared, then swore and began to run down the bridge once he realized that the monster intended to crush him with an aerial Grand Slam. A few short moments later, the Cleric Beast came thundering down where Vergil had been mere seconds ago.

Vergil had encountered the beast that one of the only sane locals he could find in this insane city of blood and death had dubbed the Cleric Beast as he was exploring the long cobblestone bridge, so named because the scraps of black cloth dangling from the behemoth's antlers looked suspiciously like the cloth used in the uniforms members of the Healing Church that seemed to govern Yharnam. Those scraps were the source of many rumors before the town had gone to Hell, the man had told Vergil, one of those rumors being that the Cleric Beast was, in fact, the famous Church Hunter Ludwig himself, having succumbed to the disease called the Beastly Scourge. Vergil, of course, knew that this was untrue-Ludwig was, in fact, trapped in the Nightmare, horrifyingly grotesque and slightly resembling a horse in shape.

Vergil forced those thoughts out of his head as the Cleric Beast lumbered forth, using its somehow healed left arm, which was significantly larger and more muscular than its right arm, to swing along much like what an ape would do. He tightened his grip on Yamato, then yelled out a challenge to the Cleric Beast as he leaped at its skull, his half-demon lineage granting him the strength to do so. As he neared the head, Vergil swung Yamato in a downwards stab, its blade shimmering silver as it raced down towards its target…

Only to be swatted aside as Vergil was knocked through the air by the Cleric Beast, slamming into the wall and falling to the ground. Vergil struggled to his feet, his breathing ragged and painful as he leaned upon his sword for support. The damned thing had broken several of his ribs, and one of the fragments of bone had scraped one of his lungs. He was lucky not to have a punctured lung, Vergil knew that much, but that didn't compensate for the fact that the injury hurt like hell.

The Cleric Beast glared at Vergil in triumph, screeching in victory as it raised its fist to smash Vergil into a bloody pulp. _Well, shit,_ he thought as the fist began its descent, closing his eyes and waiting for the inevitable…

Suddenly, Vergil heard the whirl of a coat billowing out behind someone as an unidentified person leaped in front of Vergil, apparently trying to shield him from the cannon smash. His eyes flew open, and he yelled, "Move, you fool!" as the beast's fist hit. He closed his eyes once more, not wanting to see the remnants of his would-be savior…

Until he heard a familiar, cocky voice say, "So this is the Cleric Beast you told me about, Cain? Doesn't seem like much to me." Opening his eyes, Vergil was greeted with a welcome sight…

His brother Dante was standing before him, having caught the Cleric Beast's fist mid-swing. Beside him, a man in strange but intimidating armor stood, a large scythe with a brown wood haft and a wickedly curved black blade stood, poised to attack the Cleric Beast at a moment's notice.

"To you, maybe," the strangely-clad man was saying, shuffling a few steps back from the monster as it withdrew its fist and raised its head to the heavens, letting out a screech that sounded for all the world like a gigantic, constipated eagle. "To me, this dude's a tough fight. I'm not a half-demon like you, remember? I can't just go all 'Devil Trigger' on the fat bastard."

"True enough," Dante replied, glancing over at Vergil with a grin. "Hey, bro, figured you could use a hand after I saw you get slammed into that wall."

"I appreciate… the intervention..." Vergil wheezed painfully, smiling in return. "I think that I've… got a couple of… broken ribs… so don't expect me to be of much help to you..."

"Here, use this," the man with the scythe said, tossing over a syringe filled with red liquid to Vergil, who caught it in midair. "Inject that into yourself, your injuries will heal if you do. I'd tell you what it was, but I don't really think you wanna- OH CRAP!"

The scythe-wielding man dodged a punch from the Cleric Beast, then returned with a downwards overhead slash that opened up a massive wound on the Cleric Beast's chest, which was followed by a series of quicker attacks that, although not as powerful, still dealt a good deal of damage to the colossal beast, forcing it to take a few steps back and enter the defensive, blood spewing from the wounds like water from a fountain.

Vergil looked at the syringe, the thick red liquid sloshing around inside. "What the hell, why not," he muttered before stabbing the syringe into his side and injecting the red liquid inside into his body. Instantly, Vergil felt relief as whatever medicine he had just injected into himself knit his flesh and bones back together. Looking down, he noticed that even the bloodstains and damage inflicted upon his expensive clothing were vanishing. Marveling at the power of the strange medicine, Vergil straightened and leaped into the battle, his sword becoming a blurred silver arch as he hacked and slashed at the Cleric Beast's body.

A few minutes later…

Vergil stood over the Cleric Beast as it struggled to breathe, its massive left arm struggling for traction so that it could crush the interlopers who had trespassed on its bridge. He saw Dante pull out one of his pistols, then aim it at the creatures bloody head. Strangely, he had a look of unhappiness upon his face, rather than his usual cocky grin. "I'm sorry," he said to the dying monster, then pulled the trigger.

The gunshot echoed through the streets of Yharnam, a solitary blast of sound in the still, quiet streets.

A few minutes later…

Dante, Vergil, and Cain wearily walked towards the lamp, watching as the Messengers broiled up around its base. "So this leads to a dream?" Vergil inquired of Cain. The Hunter nodded, saying, "Yes, this will take us to a Hunter's Dream, where we can rest and replenish our supplies. I'm not sure, but I think that if you two hold on to me as I go back into the Dream, you'll come with me."

"Well, let's try it out," Dante said, still looking moody. "I'd like to see this Hunter's Dream of yours."

"Here goes nothing," Cain said as Dante and Vergil grabbed onto him. He reached out and touched the lantern, then shivered as the air around him filled with what looked like particles of ash. Dante and Vergil suddenly felt lightheaded, and squeezed their eyes shut as the world faded into black.

The first impression that Dante got when he reopened his eyes was that it looked like it was about to rain. The second impression that he got was that this looked like the dream of an emo kid.

He had re-awoken in a strange, Gothic place-the Hunter's Dream, he deduced. The sky was covered in gray clouds, completely concealing everything in the heavens except for a massive, glowing, pale moon that hung low in the sky. On top of a hill, a small, Gothic-style mansion loomed, radiating waves of intimidation but somehow feeling homey at the same time. Lining the two paths leading up to the mansion were gravestones of various designs and shapes, and a Gothic spiked iron fence surrounded the property. When Dante looked over the edge, he saw nothing but swirling, opaque mists. He refocused his attention on Cain, who was talking to a beautiful woman with unnaturally white skin and who was dressed as if she were about to attend a funeral. They exchanged a few unintelligible words, then Cain walked over to Dante and Vergil.

"Welcome to the Hunter's Dream," he said to the brothers, spreading his arms widely. "Make yourselves at home."

"Yea, sure," Dante said. Vergil looked at him askance. "What's wrong with you all of a sudden?" he inquired. Dante took a deep breath, then said, "It's those people I killed. I fell bad about it, ending their lives like that. I mean, I'll kill demons and not bat an eyelash at it, but humans? That's a different matter."

Cain sighed heavily, then sheathed his Burial Blade and placed his hand on Dante's shoulder. "Dante, those weren't people you killed. They were humans at one point in time, but now they're just savage monsters who would kill you without a second thought. If that doesn't help you, then think of it like this: they're people in agony, with no cure to their illness. Killing them is a mercy to them. If we didn't kill them, they'd live their lives in agony and suffering. You follow me?"

"Yea, I follow you," Dante said. "Still doesn't make me fell good about killing them."

"Oh, chin up, brother," Vergil told Dante. "We have far more important matters to worry about. In fact, I came to Yharnam to take care of those matters."

"Which are..." Dante said.

"I think Mundus is back," Vergil bluntly told Dante. "I believe that he has reawakened, and that he seeks contact with the beings known as the Great Ones so that he can begin another plan for world domination."

"Seriously?" Dante asked. Then an ugly thought occurred to him. "Wait, you're not working for that cosmic asshole again, are you?"

Vergil sighed patiently. "No, Dante, I learned my lesson back when Mundus first went for world domination. I'm working against what I think are his servants. Like I said, I'm not entirely sure that Mundus has returned, but there is strong evidence to support that he has returned and that he seeks to ally himself with the Great Ones to conquer the world."

"Um, sorry to barge in," Cain said, "but who the hell is Mundus?"

"He's the king of the Underworld," Dante replied. "He tried to return to the world at one point in time, so that he could-hey, wait a second, how the hell did you come back to life, Vergil?"

"The grace of God returned me to the world," Vergil said. "I was instructed to find out whether or not Mundus was returning, and was instructed to get you and kill Mundus if the Demon Emperor truly was rising again."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, _wait_ ," Cain said, waving his hands around in confusion. "What you're saying is that a great, big, huge Demon Emperor named Mundus is trying to get in contact with the Great Ones so that he can conquer the world and that he's already died before?"

"Yep," Dante said. Cain groaned, slapping his forehead. "Great," he said, "It's not like I have enough on my plate as it is."

"We never said you had to help," Vergil pointed out.

"I know, but if it involves the Great Ones, then it involves me, so I actually do have to help you guys out."

Dante grunted. "Whatever," he said. "I'm gonna go explore this place."

With that, he set off towards the mansion on the hill.

Vergil turned to Cain. "Well, now that my brother's gone, I can tell you more about this," he said. "Mundus is a massive, angelic-looking demon king who rules over Hell. He's been dead for years, but I suspect that he is reawakening and trying to make contact with the Great Ones. If you truly wish to become involved in this, you will be putting yourself in serious danger."

Cain laughed a humorless laugh. "Danger? I live with that every day, what with the beasts roaming Yharnam and the Great Ones constantly trying to kill me. I don't think that this could put me in any more danger than what I'm already in."

"It involves demons..." Vergil began.

"I fight demons every day," Cain interrupted. "Again, I don't think that this will put me in any more danger than what I'm already in."

Vergil gave Cain a long look. "Do you agree to assist us?" he finally asked. "Be careful with your answer."

Cain gazed at the moon, remaining silent for a span of minutes. Then, an unseen grin curled across his lips as he chuckled.

"I agree, all right."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Dante stared at the old man in the wheelchair in curiosity, wondering who he was and what he was doing inside the Hunter's Dream.

He had entered the Gothic mansion on the hilltop a few minutes ago, and had been admiring the beautiful architecture of the one-room mansion when he had heard the old man's snores. He had whipped out Rebellion in alarm, but had then relaxed as he realized that it was only an old man asleep in his wheelchair, not some other monster intent on ripping his throat out.

Suddenly, the old man let out a particularly loud snore that jostled him awake. He blinked awake, confused, then remembered where he was. He was about to drift back to sleep, then noticed Dante. He looked at him shrewdly, intelligence glittering in his dark eyes instead of the senility that Dante had expected. "You're not Cain," he muttered. "Who are you, and how did you find your way into the Hunter's Dream?"

"Name's Dante," Dante said, stretching out his hand to shake the old man's. "Cain took me here. Said that I could replenish my supplies here and rest up."

The old man took Dante's hand in his own and shook it with a surprising strength, stronger than what Dante had been expecting from a man his age. "I'm Gherman," the old man-Gherman-said, releasing Dante's hand and leaning back into his wheelchair. "The First Hunter."

"Hey, Gherman, I'm back," Cain called as he and Vergil entered the building. "I've brought two guys with me-oh, I see you've already met one of them. This one's Vergil."

"A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Vergil," Gherman said, shaking Vergil's hand with the same surprising strength with which he had shook Dante's. "I'm Gherman, the First Hunter."

"He's strong for an old man," Dante muttered to Vergil and Cain. Cain chuckled under his breath.

"Yea, he may say he's a crippled old fart with no strength left, but that's a load of bullshit," Cain said. "He can really walk and fight-he just pretends to be crippled so that he doesn't have to get his lazy ass out of his chair."

"I heard that," Gherman snapped. "I really am crippled, that thrice-damned Orphan of Kos made me this way. I'd expect you to show at least a bit of respect to the master of the Dream."

"Alright, I'm sorry, Gherman," Cain humorously said.

"Apology accepted," Gherman replied. Then he swiveled to face Dante and Vergil, his hands resting upon an ornate gold cane. "Now, what have we here?" he murmured. "A man and his brother, neither of them Hunters, who have entered this Dream. No normal human could achieve such a feat… but then, I sense that the two of you are not normal in any aspect..."

"We're the sons of the Demon Knight Sparda," Vergil smoothly said. "We've come to Yharnam because we suspect that the Emperor of Hell, Mundus, has re-arisen and seeks to make contact with the beings you know as the Great Ones in order to assemble an army that could allow him to conquer the world. We would like to stay here for a while, if that is okay with you, master of the Dream."

"Hrmm… I see..." Gherman said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Well, then, I suppose that you could stay a while in this Hunter's Dream and in this Hunter's Workshop… that's what this building is called, by the way..."

"Excellent," Vergil said. Then, he turned on his heel and strode over to an overstuffed armchair that was lounging in the corner (I know that there's no armchairs in the Workshop, but I don't give a rat's ass-this is a fanfiction, for God's sake). Plopping down in it, he instantly fell asleep, exhaustion overcoming him in waves. Dante and Cain looked at Vergil, amused, then Dante turned to Gherman. "There any place I can crash?" he asked. Gherman nodded, then pointed to another overstuffed velvet armchair in another corner. "You can rest there for the time being," Gherman said with a kindly smile.

"Thanks. Cain, are you gonna go to sleep?"

Cain nodded. "I'll find some place to sleep. In the meantime, you should get some sleep."

Dante nodded, slowly drifting off. Just before he fell asleep, he heard an Irish woman's voice saying what sounded like a prayer:

 _"_ _Oh flora of the moon, of the dream…_

 _Oh little ones, oh fleeting will of the ancients…_

 _Let the Hunter be safe, let him find comfort…_

 _And let this dream, his captor, foretell a pleasant awakening…_

 _Be one day, a fond, distant memory..."_

* * *

Alright! A new chapter is finished! At long last! I'm so glad I started this, really takes my mind off of this stupid virus that's been going around…

P.S.- The prayer at the end of this chapter is real-the Doll sometimes says it while kneeling over the grave near the Workshop.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Dante slowly awoke, his bones creaking and popping as he stretched his muscles. He winced as a particularly loud _pop_ emanated from his back. _Owwwww…_ he thought, yawning wide enough to enable a ship to enter his mouth.

He heard talking outside and realized that everyone else had gotten up before him. He arose from the plush armchair, then made his way outside the front door, to where Vergil, Cain, Gherman, and the Doll had gathered around the first Headstone of Awakening-the one that led to Yharnam.

"Ah, you're awake," Vergil said. "We were just about to head off to Yharnam without you. And before you say anything, yes, we tried to wake you up. No matter what we did, though, we couldn't even make you stir."

"Seriously, man, did you take sedatives or something last night?" Cain asked.

"No, I didn't," Dante replied. "I'm just tired AF because I haven't gotten any rest for the past couple of days."

Gherman chuckled softly. "Nor will you get any more rest for the next few days," he said. "Hunters cannot afford to rest. I only allowed it this one time because you and Vergil needed the rest."

"Whatever," Dante said nonchalantly. He pulled out Rebellion, then spun it around in a circle. "Where are we off to now, Cain?" he inquired.

"To fight the beast that was once a Hunter," he replied, kneeling before the Headstone of Awakening. "His name is Father Gascoigne. Grab on, guys, we're leaving."

"Alright, let's go," Vergil said, grabbing onto Cain's back. Dante followed suit, grasping the Hunter's left arm.

"Alright, let's get going, fellas." Cain said, touching the Headstone with his right hand. Particles of what looked like ash appeared in the air around the trio of heroes, and they disappeared into the real world.

Gherman wheeled away, back to the base of the Great Tree as soon as the trio of heroes left. The Doll, however, lingered long after they had disappeared. "Stay safe, good Hunter," she murmured, then returned to the small stone ledge that she always sat upon, waiting for her Hunter to return.

Dante slowly opened his eyes, gazing upon the streets of Yharnam once more as he, Vergil, and Cain re-awoke into the world of the living. "This Father Gascoigne, where is he?" Dante asked Cain. Cain grinned under his silver skull mask.

"Remember the two-story house, how there was a gate near it?" Dante nodded. "Well, that gate would have let us get to Father Gascoigne very quickly and easily, but you didn't let me open it, because you wanted to fight the Cleric Beast, remember?"

Dante groaned. "Aw, man, do I really have to walk all that way _again_?" he whined. Vergil snorted.

"Shut up, you big baby. The exercise will do you some good."

Cain sighed. "Can we please just get going?" he said.

"Yea, sure, whatever," was Dante's whiny-ass response. "Let's just get this over with."

Cain sighed again as he, Vergil, and Dante set out to the location of Father Gascoigne. He had a feeling that this was going to be a long Hunt…

A _very_ long Hunt.

An hour later…

Dante, Vergil, and Cain stood at the beginning of a bridge, a sense of victory filling them. They had come a long way and had encountered some weird monsters, but they were finally here.

"So, Father Gascoigne is across this bridge?" Vergil inquired as he unsheathed Yamato. "I'm eager to do battle with him." Dante grunted noncommittally.

"I just wanna get this done and over with so that I can eat some pizza and crash for a little while, then grab a 12-pack of beers and _try_ to get drunk," he said. Cain gave him a long look. "What's pizza?" he eventually asked.

Dante's head whirled around to face Cain, an expression of shock and pity spreading across his face. " _What's pizza_?" he asked, mimicking Cain. "What is wrong with this city, man?! Well, aside from the fact that everyone here wants to kill me… But seriously, how can you _not_ know what pizza is?! It's the food of the gods, man!"

"It's basically a crust of dough with tomato sauce and melted cheese spread across the top." Vergil said in response to Cain's confused silence. "It was invented in Italy in-"

"Dude, now you're making pizza sound boring!" Dante exclaimed, giving Vergil a look of mock horror. "We can't let Cain here get the wrong impression about pizza!"

"Um, guys..." Cain said, staring at the bridge.

"Not now, man, I'm busy." Dante turned back to Vergil. "You suck the life out of _everything_ , man!"

"Guys..." Cain said, still staring at the bridge.

"Hang on a minute, Cain," Dante snapped, then turned back to Vergil. "Anyway-"

"GUYS, MOVE!" Cain screamed, throwing himself to the side. Dante and Vergil looked at him puzzled, then turned around when they heard a crackling, rolling sound behind them…

And came face-to-face with a gigantic, flaming boulder that was rolling towards them.

"OH SHIIIIIIT!" Dante yelled as he grabbed Vergil, who had been shocked to the point of paralysis, and leaped to the other side of the street. "COCK SUCKING CUNT FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCKETY FUCK FUCKBALLS!"

The flaming boulder rolled by harmlessly, then crashed down into the nearby open-air sewer and shattered into a million and a half fragments of flaming rock, which were quickly put out by the stinking, fetid waters of the open-air sewer.

"DAMMIT, WHO DID THAT?!" Dante yelled, whipping out Ebony and Ivory. "I'LL RIP THEIR BITCH-ASS HEART OUT OF THEIR CHEST!"

"Calm down, man," Cain said, laying a hand upon Dante's shoulder. "The perpetrators of the crime are at the end of the bridge, an Ogre and a torch-wielding beast."

Dante aimed Ebony and Ivory at the end of the bridge and let fly a couple of rounds. After a moment, the group heard the sound of a very large body hit the ground, along with the fainter sound of a wooden object hitting the ground.

"Nice," Cain said, clearly impressed.

"Thanks," Dante replied, blowing out his pistols and putting them back into their respective holsters. "I feel better now that I did that," he then remarked, unsheathing Rebellion and pointing to the end of the bridge. "That way to Gascoigne?"

"Yes, so let's get moving."

The trio of heroes stood at the entrance to the area where Father Gascoigne supposedly resided, nerves set a-tingle and weapons drawn and ready. "This is the place? Awfully quiet..." Vergil said, drawing Yamato from its scabbard.

"It may be quiet now, but it won't be in a few moments," was Cain's reply. Then he pulled something out of his pocket and held it up to where Vergil and Dante could see it. "This will significantly improve combat," he said. "It may only be a simple music box, but from the experience I've gotten from my previous experience of the Hunt, the music makes him remember who he was for a few moments, causing him to stagger around with his hands covering his ears. If we use it, we'll have an easier time of killing Gascoigne."

"You will, you mean," Dante said, leaning in closer to examine the music box. "To me it'll just be more bor..." He trailed off, then staggered back as if shoved. "Are you okay, Dante?" Cain asked, the concern plain in his voice.

"That… that box..." Dante said, clearly shocked beyond belief.

"What about it?" Cain asked.

"That was my mother's music box… she used to let us listen to the song that it played before we went to bed..."

"It is..." Vergil muttered to himself. Then he brought Yamato up to Cain's neck in the blink of an eye. "Explain," he said in a voice like winter, with a demeanor to match. "Where did you get this at?"

"I-I-I found it during my wanderings..." Cain shakily said. "Two little girls… Gascoigne's daughters… they asked me to give this to their father so that he would remember them… and come back home to them..."

Vergil glared at Cain for another moment. Then, lifting Yamato from his neck, he said, "We will discuss this another time."

Cain exhaled. Although he hadn't been afraid-after all, he would only be reawakened in the Hunter's Dream if he died-a sword at anyone's neck would make the said person nervous, immortal or not.

"Alright… erm, anyway, let's just get this done and over with, shall we?" he said.

Dante grinned at him, apparently overcoming his shock.

"Yes, let's," he said. "I have a new food to teach you about, Cain, and I don't want to delay it more than I have to. That, and I have a special little surprise for you..."

With a wink, he approached the entryway to the Tomb of Oedon, where Father Gascoigne resided, with Vergil on his heels.

Cain stared at them for a moment. Then, sighing, he jogged to catch up with his two friends.

Aaaand done. I know that this chapter was kind of bloodless, so sorry about that. Anyway, I really appreciate you guys for reading this. Please comment!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Father Gascoigne hacked at the long-dead corpse of the beast with his ax, giggling like a child-a demented, psychopathic child, but a child nonetheless-as blood sprayed into the air like a fountain of crimson. He had been waiting for the Paleblood Hunter to arrive for quite some time, and was starting to grow restless. However, the voice had repeatedly told him to wait for the Hunter to come to him, to let the blood grow warm from the heat of the Hunt's battles. He had not wanted to, he had wanted to go find the Hunter, but the voice said it would do terrible things to Gascoigne if he tried to leave the Tomb of Oedon. Gascoigne had only tried to leave once, but the pain was excruciating-as if a thousand lances were piercing his body. The pain had lingered long afterward, thereby dissuading him from attempting to leave again. So he had killed the time by hacking at the corpses that littered the courtyard and drinking their stale, cold blood and eating their rotten flesh.

Suddenly, he saw a flash of movement out of the corner of his eye-or, more accurately, three flashes of movement, one wearing the armor of the Keeper of the Old Lords, one wearing a fine blue silk trench coat, and the third wearing a garish red leather trench coat. He chuckled as a line came up to him, and a good one to boot.

"Beasts all over the shop..." he said in his deep, husky voice. "Soon you'll be one of 'em too..."

Then, he turned to face the trio, his breath steaming out of his fanged mouth into the cold air.

–-

"Ugh, this guy is _so_ cheesy," Dante said, then grinned. "Oh, whatever, it's not like it matters. He'll be dead in a few minutes anyway."

He then proceeded to procure a giant, purple electric guitar from thin air, spinning it around in a circle. "This bad boy's named Nevan." he said. "And if you're wondering where I pulled it from, I have an ability that allows me to carry more weapons than normal because… oh, never mind," he said, blocking a strike from Gascoigne's ax with Nevan's neck and striking a power chord that sent out a shockwave of electricity (no pun intended) that knocked Gascoigne all the way to the other side of the courtyard. Both Cain and Vergil looked at Gascoigne, then looked back at Dante, who was staring at them with a huge grin spread across his face. ""What the _hell..._ " Cain whispered reverently.

Dante's grin grew even wider. "That's just one of Nevan's abilities. Here's the other one..."

With that, he played a fast, driving solo on Nevan, summoning countless bats of electricity and sending them careening towards Gascoigne. As the electric bats smashed into Gascoigne, he staggered back, roaring in pain as his entire body convulsed from the effects of the electricity.

"GRAUUUUUUGH!" Gascoigne roared, then leaped at Cain, swinging his ax in a downwards slash. However, Cain easily dodged the blow, then unfolded his Beasthunter's Saif and slashed at Gascoigne, opening a large wound that spewed blood. He then pulled out the music box and cranked the handle…

And a beautiful tune came from the box, lilting into Gascoigne's ears and driving him temporarily mad. Images flashed through his head-a wedding between a tall, handsome man and an equally beautiful woman… a warm household with a pair of laughing girls running through its rooms and halls… the memories came like a torrent, a flood of emotions…

That was all the beast inside of Gascoigne needed.

His skin ripped and tore as bristling gray fur sprouted from his body, his fangs extending even longer and long, wickedly curved claws sprouting from his toes and fingertips. Gascoigne roared a roar of challenge, then charged at Dante and Vergil, swinging his claws up for a painful uppercut…

But then a shot rang out. A bullet hit Father Gascoigne, forcing him down to his knees, and Cain rushed over to the kneeling monstrosity. As Vergil and Dante watched, Cain plunged his hand into Father Gascoigne's body…

Then ripped out a large chunk of flesh and some organs, sending the huge beast flying back in a spray of blood and viscera. Dante and Vergil both stared at Cain openly, oblivious to the blood that was splattered on their clothes. "Dude, what the _fuck_?!" Dante asked. "That was freaking _brutal_ , man!"

"That was a Visceral Attack," Cain said, straightening up and pointing his saif at Gascoigne. "It deals massive amounts of damage to an opponent, and, while brutal, is highly effective."

Dante stared at Cain for a minute, then, shaking his head, exchanged Nevan for the Gilgamesh Gauntlets. Instantly, he was coated in armor, with a particularly large pair of gauntlets upon his hands. He got ready to leap at Gascoigne…

But Vergil beat him to it. Swinging Yamato in a shimmering, silver arc, he sliced one of Gascoigne's hands (or would they be paws?) cleanly off. Gascoigne attempted to swing at Vergil with his hand-less arm, but Vergil leaped over that blow, stabbing at Gascoigne's skull. The blow connected squarely, and Gascoigne roared in pain as the blade of Yamato pierced his skull and (luckily for him) missed his brain by inches. However, Gascoigne found that he could no longer move, and laid prone as Dante, clad in the armor of the Gilgamesh Gauntlets, walked up to him. He managed a weak snarl before Dante raised his fist.

"I'm sorry," was all Dante quietly said.


	9. Omake-Cain & the Pizza

Omake- Cain & the Pizza

* * *

 **Okay, this is my first attempt at an omake, so if it isn't all that great… well, I've got an excuse. Please comment!**

* * *

Cain sighed as yet another beast charged at him, stepping forward tiredly and impaling it upon his Chikage. He stared it in its terrified, glazing eyes, then slid it off of his Chikage's gleaming silver blade, leaving a trail of filthy red blood behind. Cain sighed again, flicking the blood off of his Chikage's blade before turning to face-

"CAIN! WAKE THE FUCK UP!"

He was immediately shot out of his sleep like a cannonball, jolting up in the makeshift mattress he had constructed from odd bits and bobs he found lying about the Hunter's Dream and Yharnam…

And immediately slammed his forehead into Dante's nose.

Dante spewed a good few choice words as he staggered around clutching his now-bleeding nose, with Cain sitting up in bed and rubbing his short-black-emo-style-haired head and watching him in wonder and confusion (mostly confusion).

After a few minutes of this, Dante stopped cursing and glared at Cain wrathfully, who was scratching his thick stubble beard and yawning. "Jesus, Cain, you've got a hard head!"

"Sorry. Now, what do you want?"

Dante paused for a moment, surprised at Cain's bluntness, then replied, "Me and Vergil are gonna go out to find a pizza joint. You wanna come with us? I mean, I know you've never had pizza before, so I figured..."

Cain thought a moment, then grinned. "Heck yea, I'd love to try pizza. Just lemme get my armor on, and then we'll go."

* * *

A good few days (and one adventure to a normal city) later…

"Well, we're finally here," Dante said, standing in satisfaction in front of a pizza joint that was outlined in garish neon lights. Sound blared from its interior-heavy metal blaring at unspeakable decibel levels, the raucous laughter of the people and families inside eating pizza, and what might have been a football game (but could have been a game of soccer) blaring on TV. The smells were incredible-the combined scent of melting, molten cheese, fresh-baked, gooey crust, hot, steaming tomato paste, way over-carbonated soda, and the smell of a thousand other Italian dishes-spaghetti, ravioli, breadsticks suffused the chill night air, wafting up Cain's nostrils and sending a warm, tingly feeling shooting through him that one usually only gets when drunk. (Oh, God, now I'm starving for something Italian…)

"What is that amazing smell?!" Cain demanded, his drool running unheeded down his face, hidden by his Bone Ash mask. "It's as if Heaven itself had a smell, and it decided to come down to this place..."

"That, my friend, is the smell of Italian food," Dante said, grinning widely as he strode up the stairs to the front door of the joint. "Trust me, you are not going to regret letting me and Vergil drag you all the way to here from Yharnam. You're gonna freaking _love_ this place."

"Just don't go out back," Vergil advised as the threesome walked into the restaurant. "The food does _not_ smell as good when its good and rotten."

There was dead silence as Dante, Cain, and Vergil walked into the Italian restaurant. Diners stopped to stare with food halfway to their mouths, waiters and waitresses stood dead-still with their orders steaming on their trays, the chefs stopped cooking, and everyone shut up and stared as the group walked in. Dante raised an eyebrow. "Can we help you guys?" he inquired.

Everyone hurriedly returned to what they were doing, the conversation returning in a torrential flood as life jump-started itself. Dante rolled his eyes, then plunked down in an empty booth. A few moments later, a pretty young redheaded waitress arrived at their table with a tablet and pencil in hand. "Hi, I'm Danny, I'm your waitress tonight," she said breathlessly, staring openly at Cain, who was clad in his Bone Ash armor and had his Beasthunter's Saif and Evelyn strapped onto his sides. "Um, what can I do for you all tonight?"

Dante smiled charmingly at Danny, picking up a menu and gazing at its contents. "Hmmmmm… well, we'd like three large Coca-Colas-no ice, mind you- and I suppose two extra-large deep-dish 4-cheese pepperoni pizzas for us to share, please and thank you."

"'Share'," Vergil drily commented, making quotations with his fingers.

Dante turned as red as his coat. "Okay, so maybe I'll eat one of them myself..." he sheepishly said. The waitress gave him a strange look, then scribbled down the trio's order on her notepad and walked off to the kitchen. Dante stared at the redhead's butt as she walked over to the kitchen, then turned his attention back to Cain and Vergil, who were busy discussing beasts and how to efficiently kill them, what kinds of beasts there were, and other boring stuff that Dante didn't really care about. He intervened by leaning in closer to Cain-but not close enough to make it gay-and saying, "So, Cain, you hunt those beasts, right? What was the toughest one you've ever fought?"

"Not like we were having an intellectual conversation or anything..." Vergil muttered. Dante stared daggers at him, then turned back to Cain, who appeared to be thinking. Suddenly, he snapped his fingers and said, "The fight with Ludwig the Accursed-now, _that_ was a fight like none other… God, what an overpowered bastard he was."

"Ludwig?"

"Ludwig is-or, actually, was-the chief of the Church Hunters of Yharnam," Vergil said to Dante. "He was incredibly mighty and wielded a strange sword that could transform from a greatsword to a longsword at will. However, he caught a particularly nasty strain of the Beastly Scourge and turned into a hideous, horse-like beast. For this reason, he was banished into the Hunter's Nightmare."

"Huh," Dante said. Then he turned back to Cain. "Anyway, what about Ludwig?"

At that point, a cop decided to interrupt the conversation.

"Excuse me, sir," he stiffly said, "but do you and your friends have permits for those weapons?"

"Huh? Oh-uh, yea, sure," Dante replied.

"Really, now?" the policeman said, a note of eagerness at the prospect of making an arrest coloring his voice. "Then lemme see 'em. Now, or I'll arrest all ah ya on the spot."

"I'm a Devil Hunter," Dante said. "As is the guy in the blue coat. And the guy in armor's a Hunter, so he has a really good excuse to carry those weapons." The cop snorted.

"Don't lie to me, ya scum," he growled, his hands reaching for his cuffs and his Glock. "You just wanna shoot someplace up, don'tcha? Huh? Or mebbe you was thinkin' 'bout goin' and-"

Suddenly, Dante, with glowing red eyes, whipped out Ivory and held it under the fat cop's chin-all in one inhumanly fast move. "Look, bub," he said, clearly irritated, "I came here to eat some pizza and maybe grab myself a beer or two-not to argue with some fatass cop about my weapons… not to have to go all the way back to the Devil May Cry to grab some papers… to eat freaking pizza. Now shut up and leave us alone."

With that, he re-holstered Ivory and returned back to lounging back in the plush leather seats of the booth. "Now, where were we?"

The cop stared at Dante in obvious terror. Then he slowly backed away from the group, and then flat out ran out into the street, his fat, stubby legs propelling him at a surprising pace.

"Here's your order," Danny said, arriving with two huge pizza trays balanced on her cloth-covered arms and a tray balanced with three huge sodas on her head. She deftly slid the pizza trays onto the table, then grabbed the tray of Cokes and slid each drink over to each gentleman-all within a few moment's time. Dante looked up at Danny, impression clear upon his face. "Damn," he said, grinning. Danny smiled.

"I've been at this for a few years now," she said, tossing her long, curly hair aside and openly staring at Cain again-this time because he had pulled off his Bone Ash helmet and revealed his incredibly handsome face to all the world. She gave him a flirtatious little smile. "Oh, and if you need me… here's my number."

She then scrawled down her phone number on a piece of paper, gave it to Cain, then walked back to the kitchen. Cain stared at the paper, then at the doors to the kitchen, then at the paper, then at Dante and Vergil, confusion etched plainly upon his face. "Do either of you have any idea what just happened? Because I don't."

Dante grinned, grabbing a slice of steaming hot pizza and taking a huge bite. "You, my good friend, just got flirted with-meaning what, you might ask? Well, my good friend, _that_ means that she wants to get together with you."

"And do… what?"

Vergil answered this one. "She wants to… hrm, how to answer this… she wants to… kiss, I would suppose… go around town..."

"Go around town and kill beasts?"

Dante choked on his pizza. "No, Cain-geez, just because you like to go around and kill stuff doesn't mean everyone else does, too! Now shut up and try some pizza. And some Coke."

"Aw, man..." Cain said, looking forlorn. Then he took a sip of Coke. Instantly his face lit up like a Hunter's Lantern.

"HOLY MOTHER OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST, WHAT IS THIS?!" Cain yelled. Dante chuckled, watching as Cain chugged down his Coke.

"That is Coca-Cola," Dante said. "Here, try some pizza. Careful, though, it's pretty hot."

"But delicious," Vergil pointed out, his mouth full of pizza.

Cain blew on his huge slice for a few moments, then bit deep into it. His face somehow got even brighter than what it currently was. "HOLY SHIT, THIS IS AMAZING!" he screamed through a mouthful of dough, tomato sauce, cheese, and pepperoni. "MORE! MORE!"

* * *

A few hours later…

Cain stumbled down the street of the city, supported by Dante and Vergil on both sides. He was in a semi-comatose state from how much pizza and Coke he had took in, and was in a state similar to being drunk-except he wasn't.

Suddenly, an evil though occurred to Dante. He turned to Vergil with a huge, fiendish grin plastered on his face. "Hey, Vergil… I just thought of something else we can introduce to Cain here that I think he would enjoy..."

"And that would be…?" Vergil said, his imagination running wild.

"Video games."

* * *

 **Alright! My first omake is complete! I hope it was at least marginally funny… anyway, please comment!**


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 **Okay, back on track with the story… please comment; comments are a writer's dream! They let us know what we've done good, what we've done bad… and what we probably shouldn't have written in the first place.**

Dante stooped down at where Gascoigne's body had been a few moments before, picking up an ornate iron key from the ground and showing it to Cain, who grimly nodded. "The key to Oedon Chapel, the next area of Yharnam. The entrance is somewhere over there, up those stairs."

"What happened to him?" Vergil inquired. "The body seemed to dissipate into mist, and then it just vanished. I noticed the same thing with the Cleric Beast, too..."

"I dunno why he did that. All the bosses and big beasts do that. My guess is that someone is taking their bodies and storing them, but for what, I don't know..."

Dante and Vergil looked at each other. "Mundus," they said simultaneously.

"As in, that one Demon Lord fellow you were talking about earlier?" Cain said.

"Yea, him," Dante said.

Cain was about to make a reply, but then his ears caught the sound of three sets of footsteps walking up the stairs that led to the area that the trio of heroes. He pulled out his Holy Moonlight Sword, then converted it into its shimmering greatsword form. "Who's there?" he called out. "Be you man or beast, show yourself to me and my friends."

"Dante? Is that you?" was the reply. It sounded as if it came from a woman… and one familiar to Dante, at that. His eyebrows raised in surprise. "Lady? Is that you?"

Another trio appeared at the arch- a young man with short white hair who was wearing a black trench coat with a peculiar yet awesome sword strapped to his back and a revolver with two barrels upon his thigh, a long-haired blonde with an outfit that left _way_ too little to the imagination and a massive, odd-looking sword strapped to her back, and a young woman with short black hair, who was wearing a Japanese schoolgirl-style outfit and who had multiple handguns and a rather massive, bayoneted rocket launcher in her hands.

"Holy crap… hey, guys..." Dante said, clearly amazed at the appearance of the new trio. Cain raised an unseen eyebrow under his silver skull mask. "You know these people?" he asked, gesturing towards the newcomers with the hilt of his Holy Moonlight Greatsword. Dante grinned, his black mood dispelled like mist in the afternoon.

"Heck yea, I know these guys. The two ladies are my friends, and the white-haired kid's my little brother." Dante turned to face Vergil and Cain. "Time for some introductions… Cain, Vergil, the blonde's Trish, the black-haired babe's Lady, and the white-haired kid is Nero. Trish, Lady, Nero, these two fellas are Vergil, my brother, and Cain, one of my new friends. Cain's a Hunter, one of the guys responsible for cleaning up the beasts that are in Yharnam."

 **Aaaaand cut! I know that you probably hate me for leaving off with a cliffhanger (dodges cybertomato), but cliffhangers are a good thing! They keep the reader thinking, "What if?" PLEASE COMMENT!**


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 11

The man sat bored in his chair, spinning a silver-bladed combat knife knife in his hand. He had short, emo-cut white hair, blood-red eyes, a handsome, 18-year-old face, pale skin, and a lean, muscled body, and wore a red ankle-length trench coat, a pair of black biker gloves, a white sleeveless shirt, a pair of black leather pants, and a pair of black combat boots. Upon his back was a large nodachi with a 3-foot-long black blade, a circular black guard, and a 1 foot long, ornate, black grip, a sword that hung with no scabbard, and a pair of rather huge .50 caliber handguns were strapped to his sides. He and his crew of vampire, monster, demon, and werebeast hunters had been sitting around in their small business for days on end, and they were beginning to pray to God that something, _anything_ would pop up-otherwise, they would all die of sheer boredom.

"Uh, Samuel, I hope I'm not bothering you..." a muffled male Asian voice said from behind the room's closed door.

The man, Samuel Iscariot, heaved a tremendous sigh, sheathed his combat knife, and said, "No, Tobias, the only thing you'll be interrupting is my boredom. Come in."

An Asian man wearing the white robes and straw hat of the ancient samurai, who had a long black ponytail and a large, highly curved katana with a 5-foot-long silver blade, an ornate gold guard, and a white on black katana grip walked into the room, a letter in his hand.

"This came in the mail today… it says something about going to some city called Yharnam..."

"Lemme see it."

When Samuel received the letter, he instantly began reading it. It only said, _Go to Yharnam. You'll find plenty of monsters there._

Samuel groaned in relief and threw his hands in the air. "Praise the freaking Lord! Our boredom is relieved at last! Now we can go kill stuff..."

"What do you want me to do?"

Samuel grinned. "Get Jace, Leon, Slendy, and Yamata together. We're going for a vacation today..."

A few minutes later…

Samuel stood in the living room of his house, staring at the others, who were his friends and co-hunters, as they filed in. One, a handsome, tanned, blonde man with close-cut blonde hair and a short blonde beard, wore a black leather jacket, a white T-shirt, blue jeans, and black shoes and had a longsword with a 4-foot silver blade and an ornate gold guard, grip, and pommel strapped to his back and a black lever action shotgun strapped onto his side. Another man, a 6-foot-tall, muscular mountain of a man with a shaved head and a stubble beard, wore a suit of extremely heavy, ornate, black iron Gothic-style plate armor and had a 7-foot-long ornate black iron Gothic claymore strapped upon his back. An Asian woman with short black hair, who wore a tight black ninja outfit and who had dual katanas with silver blades, ornate gold guards, and ornate gold grips sat upon the couch, and the infamous creepypasta Slenderman himself stood in a corner, his black tentacles slowly writhing around. Tobias hurried in last, a burrito stuck in his mouth and a beer in his hand.

"Tobias, not on the couch," Samuel said when Tobias tried to sit down and finish eating. "That couch was freaking _expensive_. Couches don't grow on trees, you know!"

"Neither does money," the woman, Yamata Noshida, pointed out. "But you act like it does, always spending money on expensive crap."

"Ohhhhh, _ROASTED_!" the big guy, Jace Deniscovich, said in a thick Russian accent.

Samuel made a face at Yamata. "You suck, you know that?"

"You swallow," was her comeback.

The man in the leather jacket, Leon du Lac, waved his hand impatiently. "Alright, shut it, the both of ya. We came to discuss something important, not prattle on about little pieces of green paper," he said in his strongly Irish accent.

Samuel nodded at Leon in acknowledgment. "Right," he said. "That brings me to my main point..." He tossed the letter down upon the table. "That's a letter saying that we should go to a city called Yharnam. Tobias said it came in the mail. Any objections to us going?"

Slenderman raised his hand. "Just one… how do we know that this letter isn't some kind of prank? I mean, we can't just immediately just trust any old letter that comes in the mail."

"I know we can't, which is why I did some research on this Yharnam. It's a real city with a very real problem-all the people are being transformed into monsters by a sickness with no cure. And no, they're not zombies-trust me, these things almost make freaking _vampires_ look easy, and vampires are not only super fast, but also super strong."

Silence greeted his words for a few minutes. Then Jace said, "Well, it's better than sitting around here waiting for a customer, I guess..."

Yamata snorted. "'You guess'? Jace, anything is better than lounging around here bored. I say we go."

"Alright, there's one vote..." Samuel faced the others. "Votes, please! All in favor of going, please raise your hands."

Everyone, after a moment of indecision, raised their hand into the air.

"Well, that settles it, then," Samuel said with his trademark nonchalant grin. "Get your things ready, guys. We're going to Yharnam!"

 **Alright, that's done! So, what'd you think of the characters? Please comment about them!**

 **Also, I'm currently in the process of writing a novel-these guys are the main characters, along with a few others that I'll be introducing later on in this fanfiction. Please send support and ideas to me by emailing** **ergoproxy63904 !**

 **The Tale of Samuel**

 **This story is set in a post-apocalyptic Earth, after mysterious, godlike aliens called the Annunaki waged war with us, nearly eradicating modern civilization and mankind. In the process of this war, demons, monsters, vampires, and werebeasts spilled from their worlds to ours via portals opened by the Annunaki's technology, and mankind discovered magic and used it to destroy the Annunaki permanently. After the war, Earth became an interplanetary utopia, complete with sleek, futuristic technology, money galore, and no poverty, sickness, or strife. To deal with the monsters, the Hunters were formed-men and women sworn to kill demons, monsters, vampires, and werebeasts, people who were were blessed by God. However, despite the reigning peace and prosperity, an ancient cult, who the world knew as the Illuminati have rearisen and are currently spreading fear and havoc as they search for the catalyst in unbinding their bound god. A Hunter named Samuel, his friends, and a young girl named Angel and her older brother are the only things standing in the Illuminati's way. However, Samuel harbors a deep darkness in his heart-he is the bastard child of Satan. Can he overcome his darkness and destroy the Illuminati and their god, or will he be overcome by his inner demon and join the forces of evil?**


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 **Okay, let's get back to Dante and company, shall we? It may not seem like it at first, but Samuel and his friends will be in this** **fanfiction** **later… please comment!**

 **Also, two things: one, I've revised chapter ten, so you should probably reread that. Two: I am beyond sorry for keeping you guys waiting for so long. Beyond sorry. The reason it took so long for me to post a new chapter was because of none other than... school. Fucking school.**

 **Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this new chapter! And, as usual, comment!**

"So, what are you guys doing here?" Dante asked Trish, Lady, and Nero as they walked through the recently-opened gate that, according to Cain, lead to Oedon Chapel. Nero shrugged, then said, "We heard Mundus was coming back, so we came to investigate."

Dante frowned. "Wait, how do you-"

"You told me about Mundus once, remember?"

Dante nodded his head remembering. "Oh, yea, I did… well, continue."

"Anyway, we heard that Mundus was returning and was returning in a city called Yharnam. So we came here to help you investigate because Trish said that you were here and probably needed help."

"Alright, but..." Dante turned to Trish. "Didn't I tell you to manage the Devil May Cry?"

Trish snorted. "No one's coming to the office anyway. I figured I'd do something useful."

Dante sighed. "Whatever," he said.

Suddenly, he was aware of someone standing behind him. He spun around…

And was shocked beyond shocked when he saw none other than Arkham, Mundus's right-hand-man and favored servant. Arkham smiled coldly, nodded towards Dante, and said, "Hello, Dante. So good to see you again."

"You!" Dante finally said, overcoming his shock. "How the blue fuck are you here? I killed you!"

Arkham chuckled, stooping down to examine something he had found in the few inches of water on the floor. "Dante, you should know by now that it's impossible to truly defeat a demon. We will always reform in Hell and return to Earth. Now, if you would please listen, I have a message for you from Lord Mundus."

Raising his hand, Cain asked, "Um, sorry to interrupt you not-so-happy reunion, but… who's the egghead?"

Arkham surged to his feet, suddenly extremely angry. "EGGHEAD? _EGGHEAD?!_ " he shouted. "HOW DARE YOU CALL MUNDUS'S MOST POWERFUL SERVANT AN EGGHEAD! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, YOU PUNY MORTAL!"

Trish giggled. "I'm starting to like Cain..." she muttered to Lady.

Dante waved his hand impatiently, cutting off the conversation. "Alright, shut up guys," Dante said. Then he turned to Arkham, who was breathing heavily in an attempt to calm down. "Now, what do you want, Arkham?"

Taking one last deep breath and regaining his composure, Arkham resumed his crocodile smile and said, "My lord Mundus has said that you have an opportunity to join him. He will forgive you of-"

"Yea, not happening."

Arkham glared at Dante. "Excuse me?"

Dante smirked. "Sorry, but I'm not allying with Mundus. Do you really think that I would want to ally with the bastard whose servants murdered my mother in front of my eyes?"

Arkham glared at Dante. "Very well. I will inform my lord of this. However, he will not be pleased."

As Arkham began to vanish, returning to Hell, Cain called out, "Have a nice day, Egghead!"

Arkham gave Cain a look that was downright murderous. Then he vanished.

Dante relaxed. "Man, I hate that guy..." he muttered turning to the rest of the group.

"Who was that?" Nero asked. Dante sighed.

"That was Arkham, Mundus's personal ass-wiper. He does everything Mundus tells him to do like the good little chosen servant he is-which consists of 'Make Dante's life miserable' and 'Command my legions for me.'"

"Huh," Nero said. Then he noticed Cain was staring at Devil Bringer. "What?" he asked. "Do I have something on me?"

"No, it's, well..." Cain pointed to Devil Bringer. "What on Earth is that thing?"

"Oh. Well, this is Devil Bringer," Nero said. "It's my special little gift from Dad. It stretches out and grabs stuff, then brings it back to me."

"Intriguing," Vergil mused.

"Anyway, we should be going," Cain said, heading towards a ladder. "This leads to Oedon Chapel, the next stage of our journey through Yharnam."

Dante grinned. "Well, what are we waiting for?" he asked. "Let's get going."


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 13

The shining, resplendent demon sat upon his throne, gazing out at the landscape of Hell and reveling in his power. For he was no ordinary demon…

He was Mundus, Emperor of Hell.

Suddenly, his servant, Arkham, appeared before him, kneeling in respect. "Ah, Arkham," Mundus said. "How did our little plan fare?"

Sighing, Arkham stood and said, "Not very well, I'm afraid. I tried to whip up Father Gascoigne by whispering promises of Paleblood Hunter's blood into his ears, but I'm afraid that he was still overcome by Dante and Vergil."

At the mention of _Vergil_ , Mundus growled, gripping his armrests in anger as he contemplated the scum who had betrayed him for a weak, powerless God. "Vergil will pay for betraying me," he said. "I will rip his heart from his chest and consume it as he lays dying."

"As you wish, my lord," Arkham said. "Also, the other Hunters are coming. The letter I sent them made sure of that."

"Excellent," Mundus said, his anger abating to pleasure at the thought that his plans were finally going right. "When they get here, that son of Lucifer will regret the day that he was ever conceived by my enemy."

"Just one problem, my lord..." Arkham said, clearly nervous at the prospect of having that _particular_ son of Satan anywhere within a half mile of him. "How are you going to defeat him if he defeated the Seven-Headed Dragon, the Beast, the False Prophet, the Antichrist, Enlil, Zeus, Odin... even Satan himself?"

Mundus chuckled coldly. "Oh, I'll find a way," he promised. "Me and those Great Ones we allied ourselves with."

Arkham had no doubt he would.

"Now go," he commanded. "Continue with the plan."

"Yes, my lord," Arkham said. Then he vanished, returning to the world of the living, to the city of plague, to Yharnam.

Mundus chuckled. "At last," he gleefully said, his chuckle turning into a full-fledged, roaring laugh, "my time has come to take the mantle of God!"


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 14

 **Alright, chapter 14! I am so freaking excited for this! And thank you all who have favorited or liked this fanfiction; you give me a reason to continue writing. And thank you, Lyxnent, for suggesting that I band Dante and Co. and Samuel and Co. with a bunch of NPCs/bosses to kick demonic/monster butt-that's a really cool idea, and I do believe that I could definitely do a ship or two…**

 **But enough prattle! I'm sure you're all bored to death by now, so I'll shut up and let you read the next chapter of The Devil Hunt.**

—

Dante and his friends walked into the chapel, struck breathless by its humble yet extraordinary beauty. "Wow," Trish breathed.

"Indeed," Vergil murmured.

Suddenly, a wheezing laugh came from somewhere to the group's right. "She's a beauty, isn't she? Oedon Chapel's the pride and joy of the Church-well, right after their own citadel, of course. But ever since the plague struck, no one's come here..."

Spinning, the group turned to face the speaker.

It was an incredibly ugly, gray-skinned old man who looked rather gnomish, wearing a red robe and kneeling on the floor. His eyes were milky white, as if he was blind, and when he grinned at the group, Dante counted exactly three teeth.

"Um, who's this?" Dante asked, gesturing to the wizened dwarf.

Cain smiled, walking over to the man. "Sorry, I forgot to mention Derrick here. He's one of the very few sane people left in Yharnam. There are a few others, but he's one of the only surviving members of the Church who isn't entirely insane or just plain a Beast."

"I am indeed," Derrick said, giving off a wheezing laugh. "The incense we burn here keeps the plague and the beasts away… there's something about the smell of it that beasts can't stand, and it had sterile properties that keep people from catching the scourge. Listen, if any of you comes across a survivor, send them here. Don't send them to Iosefka-that woman gives me a bad feeling…"

"We will, Derrick, don't worry," Cain said. Then he snapped his fingers, walking over to a nearby lamp. "Which reminds me, there's actually a few people I've found who are sane-two girls and an old woman. I'll have to go get them once I'm not busy."

As Cain changed into his Hunter's garb and traded his Beasthunter's Saif for a Saw Cleaver, a loud crash sounded out, along with the sound of some huge beast roaring in anger. Shortly after, the sound of rapid gunfire reached Dante & Company's ears. Cain looked at Dante, wide-eyed. "Did you hear that?"

"Yea, I heard it," Dante said. There was another crash and roar, and then the sound of an Irishman's voice yelling, "Well, come on, ya fat bastard! I fight demons bigger than ye for a living!" The sound of a sword slicing through flesh, a roar of pain, and the crash of an immense body hitting the ground followed soon after.

Dante looked at his companions. "Who the hell is that?" he asked.

"No idea," Lady said, pulling Kalina Ann out. "We should probably investigate, though."

"Oh, I forgot to mention," Derrick said. "There were some people asking about you earlier, Cain. I told them I didn't know where you were, and they left. That's probably them."

"Now you tell us," Dante mumbled, unsheathing Rebellion and running out the door to the left, followed by Lady, Nero, Trish, Vergil, and Cain.


	15. Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Samuel stood over where the body of the ax-wielding behemoth had been before it had vanished in a burst of blue mist and light. He gazed at the strange shard of rock he had found in the monster's wake, then pocketed it and turned to his friends. "Great job, guys."

"Thanks," Leon said, peering at the church they had left earlier. "That thing's quite the-wait, who the hell are they?"

Samuel, Tobias, Jace, Slenderman, and Yamata all turned simultaneously to see a group of people run out of the church-one wearing a trench coat similar to Samuel's but with short sleeves, one wearing a blue trench coat made of what looked like silk, one wearing yet another trench coat but this one gray with what looked like a little black cape, one wearing _another_ short-sleeved, black, hooded trench coat and with a demonic-looking right arm, a blonde-haired woman wearing a corset and wielding a rather large sword, and a woman with short black hair wielding an enormous rocket launcher-and towards them. Samuel stuck his hands in his pockets and waited for the strangers to reach him and his friends.

When they did, the guy in the red trench coat pointed a rather badass silver sword at Samuel and said, "Alright, who the heck are you guys?"

"Samuel Iscariot," Samuel said, stepping forward to offer his hand to shake. "The armored giant is Jace Deniscovich, the guy in the leather jacket is Leon du Lac, the samurai is Tobias Osafune, the ninja chick is Yamata Noshida, and-"

"Wait, that's a demon they're with!" the beautiful blonde said, sheathing her sword in an invisible scabbard and pulling out a pair of handguns, pointing them at Slenderman. "It's the demon Slenderman!"

Instantly, the other group pulled out guns-the red-trench-coat guy a pair of handguns, one black and one white, the black-trench-coat guy a revolver with two barrels, the caped-trench-coat guy a rather beautiful, ornate, and definitely oversized flintlock pistol, the black-haired chick a huge bayoneted rocket launcher, and the blue-trench-coat guy no guns, just a katana sword-and pointed them at Slenderman.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't shoot!" Samuel yelled, running in front of Slenderman with his hands held in front of him. "He's good! He's good! He repented!"

The other guys hesitated. Then, at a signal from the red-trench-coat guy, they put their weapons away.

"Alright, now can we please be civil about this?" Samuel pleaded.

Dante grinned and held out his hand. "Sure. I never did introduce myself, did I? I'm Dante. The guy in the blue trench coat is Vergil, the guy with the demonic-looking right arm is Nero, the blonde is Trish, the black-haired chick is Lady, and the guy in the dark trench coat, the one with the little cape, is Cain."

"Nice to meet you," Samuel said, shaking Dante's hand. "Sorry about what just happened. Didn't mean to scare you."

"Ah, it's fine," Dante said. "So, why are you here?"

"Letter," was Leon's reply. "We've got no bloody idea as to who sent it, but we came anyway-had nothing better to do."

Nodding, Dante turned to Cain. "So, what now?"

"Now, we head for the Grand Cathedral," Cain said, gesturing towards a grand church in the distance. "In there we'll find Vicar Amelia, and the skull of some creature that resembles her closely..."

Samuel grinned. "Well, let's go," he said. "I'm eager to kick ass."


	16. Omake-Tea and Crumpets

Omake-Tea and Crumpets

 **Hey.**

 **Soooooo… um…**

 **What's up?**

 **Alright, look, I know that's it's been at least two years since I last updated, but I haven't been able to get into my account! First my Internet wouldn't allow it (had to use school Internet), and then I forgot ONE letter of my password! ONE! SINGLE! GODDAMN! LETTER! Please don't kill me, I promise I won't let this happen again (hopefully).**

 **At any rate, here's a little omake I got the idea for whilst I was being depressed. Enjoy!**

The Moon Prescence sat back in his chair as his fellow Great Ones trickled in, talking amongst themselves and grabbing coffees and teas as they joined the weekly meeting of Ancient God-Like Beings. He smiled broadly when he saw Cthulhu step in, walking towards his old friend and stretching his arms out for a hug. "Cthulhu! So good to see you again! How's the cult doing?"

"Fine, thank you," the eldritch alien being burbled, returning the embrace. "We've grown in numbers, but those pesky Hunters keep harassing my church."

The Moon Prescence tsked. "Shame, shame... ah, if it isn't the Flying Spaghetti Monster! How are you on this lovely day, sir?"

Once everyone had gotten situated, the Moon Prescence got to a podium at the head of the room and said into a microphone, "I'm so glad you all could come for our weekly Ancient God-Like Entities meeting! As you can see, we have several new faces among us: the Flying Spaghetti Monster-"

"Just call me Dave, please! Flying Spaghetti Monster is such a mouthful..."

"Oh, certainly, certainly. There's also Azathoth-very interesting to see you-Yog-Sothoth, and last but absolutely not least, the Emperor of Hell himself, Mundus!"

Everyone in the room began to clap as Mundus rose from his chair and bowed, smiling. "Yes, thank you all," he said. "I look forward to working with the Great Ones to bring about my-sorry, _our_ glorious Empire and to exterminate that damn pest Dante! And Iscariot!"

"Oh, yes, for whatever reason that reminds me, wherever is Satan today?"

As if on cue, the doors burst open, and in strode a rather tall and handsome man, his features similar to Samuel's and a sumptuous black robe adorning his body. "Sorry I'm late," he announced as he poured a cup of Earl Gray, "I had pressing business to attend to." He caught sight of Mundus and smiled delightedly. "Mundus! So good to see you, old friend!"

Mundus smiled. "It's good to see you as well, Lucifer. Pray tell, how is your plane of Hell doing?"

"Oh, the Nine Hells are doing well enough, thank you. Belial was talking about requesting increased pay, but what's he going to use the money for, eh?"

"Well, that's excellent to hear, Satan!" the Moon Presence said, taking the reins of the conversation back. "And let's see here... well, that should be everyone! Remember, we'll be having the memorial for Azarioth in an hour or so, and I'm sure he would appreciate you being there!"

The Moon Prescence stepped down from the podium and walked over to the table where Ebrietas, Yharnam, Rom, and Cthulhu were sitting, pulling up a chair and grabbing some coffee. "Ah, Yharnam," the Moon Presence said, "how is little Mergo doing?"

"He's doing quite alright, thank you," she replied, stirring in a sugar cube with her tea. "I've got his nanny watching him for me."

"I heard you had found someone to watch him," the Moon Presence noted. Yharnam smiled.

"Yes, she's rather useful. Not only does she watch Mergo, she also kills any of those pesky Hunters that go after him." She sipped her tea. "I can hardly believe how sordid the city has become."

"Yes, it has become rather disreputable as of late..." the Moon Prescence mused.

"Oh, that's putting it lightly!" Ebrietas said spiritedly. "Just the other day, while I was minding my own business at the Altar of Despair, some random schmuck ran up to me and whacked me with his giant sword! He even brought a friend to try and beat me up with, too!"

"Yes, and while I was at the lake near Byrgenwerth, a Hunter came and attacked me!" Rom put in. She declined a refill from a Celestial Emissary, then said, "I don't see why we thought it would be a good idea to give the mortals our blood..."

"I was actually considering moving to Yharnam myself," Cthulhu said. "I've heard that the mortals revere our kind there."

"Oh, they do," the Moon Prescence assured him. "However, a certain Hunter by the name of Cain has proven to be rather irritating. Rather than revering us, he seeks to end us. Why, not too long ago, he slew an Amygdala! And a Celestial Emissary!"

"An Amygdala?" Yharnam said. "I thought that no mortal could hope to slay one!"

"Remember, Yharnam, this is a Hunter we're talking about here," Rom reminded her. "And a Paleblood to boot."

"Paleblood?" Cthulhu said. "I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that term."

"We don't exactly know what Paleblood is, either," Erbretras admitted. "The Ptumerans hinted that they were something to be feared by even the mightiest Great Ones, but unfortunately they're not any more specific than that."

"Ptumeran?"

"They're ancient entities that are related to us. They carved out a sizable labyrinth underneath the city of Yharnam a while ago, and they have the Watchers guarding it, who are also related to them but are far fatter and somewhat less intelligent." The Moon Prescence opened a pseudo-mouth to sip his coffee. "They were the ones who suggested that we give our blood to the mortals to better control them, and who gave the eldritch Truth to the scholars of Byrgenwerth. Drove them insane, of course, but as Cthulhu could testify, mortal minds aren't meant for our knowledge."

"Indeed they aren't," Yharnam said, taking one last sip of tea and handing her cup to an Amygdala waiter. "Well, I'm afraid that I must take my leave, gentlemen. I have a labyrinth to rule, after all."

"Fear the Old Blood!" the Moon Prescence called out cheerfully as she left.

"So, what do you think of that Mundus fellow?" Rom asked, nodding to where the shining demon was conversing with Lucifer and several other demonic entities. "A bit odd, don't you think?"

The Moon Prescence shrugged. "I like him."

"You like everyone, Mooney," Ebrietas reminded him. "You even said you enjoyed how spry that Hunter was who rejected your offer to become Lord of the Dream."

Ignoring her, the Moon Prescence continued, "True, his goal to become a supreme God is a little eccentric, but he's polite enough, and very agreeable!"

"Unlike Hermaeus Mora," Rom commented. "Now that is one antisocial Daedric Prince..."

"Hey, he's not that bad!" Cthulhu protested. "He's just smarter than us and can't find anyone to have an intellectual conversation with!"

"Whatever," Rom said. "Hey, that reminds me, where's Sheogorath at? Usually something would have blown up or been transformed into a chicken by now..."

Suddenly, an old man randomly screamed "CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!" and a rain of cheese wheels descended upon everyone. Rom sighed as her teacup transformed into a squawking and very confused chicken. "Oh, that's where he is."

The Moon Prescence smiled. "Oh, come on-he adds some spice to these meetings! And besides, we've got plenty of cheese for our crackers!"

"I tell you, he's going senile," Ebrietas grumbled. "We need to find somewhere to put him for his own good..."

"He's the Daedric Prince of Madness, not senile. And besides, he's humorous, right?"

Ebrietas grunted. "Except for when your tea turns into a chicken." Cramming the poultry into her mouth, she said, "Still, though, it's good chicken."

As they continued talking, the Moon Prescence thought, _How fun these meetings are! Maybe we should hold them more often..._

 **And that's that, folks! If you thought that was funny, please tell me! COMMENT! AND SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG!**


End file.
